思绪

山里住着老神仙
后院里长着无花果树
北边的河上，远方部落划桨而来
四散在这座城市的各个角落
他是故乡来的人，是我素未谋面的族人

早晨

打开阳台的窗，迎面扑来河谷里沉静了一夜的空气，杨树树脂的香气，真真切切。早上好。

The magnificence you have seen

The girl by the lake, Ngari, late Summer 2009

Often, you get stuck in a particular thought at a particular moment, overwhelmed, and therefore forget what magnificent views you have seen along the way. You forget about the great people you have met. You forget about what impossibilities you have accomplished. Do not forget to be proud of your self. Never, regardless the deepest despair or doubt inside, regardless the hardest indifference and neglect around.

下午的雨

生活一直继续的话
会看见极端贫困的终结吗？
会看见输送海上风能和大漠阳光的绵延电网吗？

这些日子 我用大把的时间来完成积压已久的事
多么奢侈
回过头 发现大雨将至
会是一场唤醒春天的雨

生活一直继续
有一天 眼下的这一刻
也变成了回忆中     一个遥远的 平淡无奇的下午

Sept 1 2015 写在想你们的夜里

时间不算残忍吧

它只是把当初借给我们的 索要回去

它灰白稀疏了每个头顶 像颓唐的雨林

流失了水土 也流失了钙质

骨头软了腰就弯了 硬朗的只剩那一口气

浓茶 烈酒和生理盐水

都冲不走身体日积月累的酸性物质

把脂肪和毒素统统推向腰间

不亚于冰川堆石一般艰难而决绝的态度

快乐的激素也是有限的资源

像煤 像原油和天然气 挥霍殆尽

抱怨的言语和温室气体 排得人窒息

情绪就像气候的极端 捉摸不定

有点残忍的是

它还顺道偷走了少年人心里面暖暖的同情 痒痒的好奇

浑浊了曾经赤裸裸看世界的眼睛

磨平了青春疯疯癫癫的直率 轻狂的勇气和侠义

让我们所爱的人啊 事啊 物啊

就在我们眼前 以各种姿态 失去

然后把世故塞满每一条抬头纹 鱼尾纹 妊娠纹

直到满得溢出黑黢黢的暗沟

直到每个人都变得一个模样

更有的时候

它甚至明抢

卷起长江的浪

卷走你们装着回忆的 装着照片和家信的大木箱

还在黑夜里 差遣来张牙舞爪的狼

撕咬你们的梦和光荣 书和闪闪发光的勋章

然而 它并不是每次都能得逞

并不是奈何得了所有人 并不是这样

还不是有佝偻的农夫 拖着锄头

衣衫褴褛的拾荒妇 破了洞的塑料袋里拖着一天的收获

满身污垢的流浪汉 平板车上拖着他的老瘸狗

还不是就有这么不服输的人

还有你们

天快亮了 我慢慢想着 慢慢想起

时间是怎样慷慨地赐予过我们

我们所能奢望的一切

又是怎样在最后 挥散去你们如游丝般的气息

但它终究没能把你们磨成圆滑的模子的样

弯着腰 低声下气 妥协着

脸上涂着厚厚的粉 讨好着

精致地活着 活成一模一样 利己的人

你们就是这么地不服输

好想学着一生只爱一个人

A lemon tree surrounded by our rosemary

NOVEMBER 12, 2011

Where has all this time elapsed? We’ve been married for four years and eleven months.

Different doubts, I have had many.

Where will another five years lead us to? Probably somewhere in the South where there is adequate sunshine and tremendous thunderstorm, close to a tender bay. Wind blows from the ocean at dawn and night, empowering the healing. Birds rest on the pole tops in the roadside pond before sunset. White shells swim along the river and then settle down on the sandbar. They turn into pieces and eventually, into sand and ash. It is a place not too far from where we came from.

We shall go visit the little penguins and skate and spin with them.

I will write a book, on my wooden desk next to the window facing our garden. There will grow a lemon tree so a yellow gem can be picked anytime. A bush of rosemary will flourish near the front door of our yard. Its aroma enlightens every walk of life passing by the lane. We will have friends drop by on Sunday afternoons. Camomile tea will warm us up before going to bed on winter nights.

All my doubts will find themselves the answers in the end. All I need to do, is to give every one of them a try.

你好吗？

时常会想起那天，你在微凉的早晨，踏着轻快的步子，从田野的那头跑过来。希望你一切都好。